Goodbye 2008!

Well, that day has arrived and passed. The day you spend $40 to get into an overcrowded nightclub that offers a “complimentary champagne toast” (you know, a thimble full of $5-dollar-a-bottle “Cold Duck” poured into a disposable flute). The day you pay inflated prices to eat at restaurants whose quality dips about 50 percent as they rush to feed their partying masses. The day you get all dressed up to get smashed into a group of hundreds of other well dressed partiers who, crammed in like sardines, can’t even see what you put on, and are too drunk to care if they throw up on it. That’s right, New Year’s Eve. That means it's now 2009. So lets look at the blur of what I called 2008:

--In 2007, my 401K was performing very well. In 2008, I think I owed IT money.
--I did some more traveling: India (2nd time), China, Italy (3rd time), D.C. (205 time), Atlanta (1,005th time), Dallas...you get the idea. Although I did have a nice geatway weekend to Arkansas mixed with a little golf and football.
--I reached 1,500 posts on this blog.
--I’ve so far weathered an economy that has been particularly brutal to my industry–if not totally unscathed, at least I still have a home, food, and work to do. Let’s hope 2009 sees things turn around or I might be renaming this blog “News From B-Rads Cardboard Box”. I wonder if I can pick up WIFI under an overpass?
--I shot my first 80 in golf then contracted the Bubonic Plague, or something to that effect, that kept me away from the course for over 4 months. Now back to the 90's!
--In 2007 I was driving a 2000 Nissan Maxima in 2008 I am driving a 2000 Nissan Maxima.
--Had 4 different set of neighbors move in next door to me.
--Ate at the only Indian restaurant in Mobile.
--Was beaten three out of four times in bowling.....to a girl! Really.
--Mac celebrated his 8th birthday.
--Got attacked by mosquitos on a fishing trip. Over 30 bites just to the head. I mean, this could have been a movie.
--My car was rolled with toilet paper. Thats right, not my yard but my car.
--Bought one new pair of shoes.
--I discovered the "Clavical Massage".
--Found someone sleeping on my porch one Saturday morning.
--I used the word touché way too much.

Some Things I Learned in 2008:

1. If I say I’m sleepy, or need a nap…the only response (if you must make one at all) that won’t annoy me is “Sleep tight” or “Good Night”. If you want to say “But you slept 9 hours last night” or “Its only 9:30″ you will quickly get under my skin because I did not ask for an update on the amount of rest I have previously gotten, or the time. Pointing out either of those will not suddenly wake my body up.
2. If you are going to pull out in front of me in traffic, you better find the gas pedal and get to moving. If you were in such a hurry to pull out, you better be in just as big a hurry to get up to speed.
3. Furthermore, if you are in the left lane, you better be passing somebody. Otherwise, move your slow ass over. If six cars have passed you on the right—its a sure fire indication that you are in the wrong lane and you are screwing with traffic. Please hand in your drivers license until you learn how to use it.
4. If you need to make a right turn, just go on and do it. There is no reason to come to an almost full stop and then coast into the McDonald’s parking lot. That gas pedal is there for a reason.
5. When you are grocery shopping, kindly pull your cart to one side or the other as you stare blankly at the wall of soups or boxes of crackers. No one else wants to watch you decide between the “Bean and Bacon” and the “Clam Chowder”. And, dont pay with a check...who still pays with checks?
6. Don’t charge me $12.95 for “shipping and handling”. I know it costs about two bucks to ship, and if someone is doing eleven dollars worth of “handling” I consider that merchandise to be USED and expect a corresponding cut in it’s price.
7. If I’m hungry, I’m hungry. My stomach does not have any concept of “ruining my appetite” or “it’s after nine!”. It’s like being sleepy–only one thing is gonna fix it.
8. If I’m grumpy for no apparent reason, its generally one of three things–some already touched on. I’m either hungry, tired, or frustrated over something really simple -- like the remote doesn't work.
9. Don’t show up on my door selling religion or magazines. I’ve got all of both that I want. If you’re selling discounted Cheez-Its or snuggies, though, come back as often as you like.
10. If your kid is screaming in a restaurant, take them outside, to the bathroom, or home. As unpleasant as it is for you to have to put up with your little darling acting up, its much worse for those of us who don’t know and love him.

I’m sure there are more, but following these ten will make 2009 much better.