As a kid, my elementary school had a Halloween Carnival every year. Not a "Fall Carnival" as certain politically correct activists have tried to rebrand it, but a good old-fashioned Christian Halloween Carnival with blood and witches and everything. It was held at night at the school and normally on “your hall” where each room was decorated and had games, etc. Outside was reserved for the bigger and better stuff I will mention later. During my first-grade year, I went to the carnival as Casper the Friendly Ghost. Believe me, I didn't want to.
Back then and especially in the small town of Jackson, AL, you chose your costume from a small section in the "seasonal" aisle of the local grocery store and the costumes got cheaper the closer you got to Halloween. I wanted to be Batman, with a fully tricked-out utility belt and a hidden past. However, I got into trouble at school for throwing dirt clods and acorns in the chimney of the house next to our school. So, as a part of my punishment, I had to go with my two brothers and only sister when they picked out their costume -- but I couldn’t get one (that was punishment enough – torture I say!). So, by the time I convinced my mother I learned my lesson and to take me to Greer’s to pick out mine, there were only three sad costumes with plastic masks swinging from the rack: Wonder Woman, Raggedy Ann and Casper. Although I felt a certain "freedom" when trying on the Wonder Woman outfit, the rubber band on her mask had pulled free and broken, eliminating it as a functioning costume. Since Raggedy Ann had always scared the hell out of me, I went with Casper.
I was super small as a kid and this particular one-piece costume tied in the back like a hospital gown and the plastic mask made it almost impossible to breathe. Of course I complained and told my mother it made me look like a baby. But she then uttered those unconvincing words that only a mother would say "You look adorable and and if any kid says anything about it, that is their problem." In other words, I was going to get ragged and probably beaten by Superhero’s, transformers, monsters and probably even a few princesses or cheerleaders.
But, even knowing that, I remember sitting on the backseat armrest of that big yellow Buick Electra steaming up the inside of my mask, anxious to see the carnival, my real friends (who wouldn’t beat me up), and to win things like plastic spider rings and mini-packs of "Bottlecaps." Once there, I ran into the transformed school surprised to see that teachers did exist even without the sun, and took in some of the best nights of my short life. Ah, what I would give for those simpler days.
I can still see curled masking tape on the floor for the cake walk (which I won) and the poster board goblins and black cats taped to the chalk board. I remember big silver buckets full of apples and hayrides on my really scary friend’s uncle’s horse and buggy. He wasn’t scary because he was dressed up but because he had at least a 10-inch snow white beard, false teeth he would take out regularly, because he had a scar on his cheek and was missing two fingers on one hand to which he told us he lost while riding on the back of a hayride when he was a kid. I remember big punch lines and Kevin Overstreet falling and busting his chin wide open but nobody would help him because we thought it was part of the costume (he was a zombie for goodness sake – you would have to). As we kids ran around in flammable costumes past the tiki torches I remember mothers telling whispered stories and the fathers taking turns with a sledgehammer on an old wrecked car for one dollar a hit (don’t ask, I don’t remember how this activity got started).
As an adult, I really dont care for Halloween but do enjoy seeing the kids all decked out. But, for some reason, I think about this little story each year around this time. So this weekend is my Nephews school Halloween Carnival and I am going to take him. For some reason I have got the yearning to go online and see if I can buy an adult-sized Casper outfit, if only to creep out my mom as I appear at her front door step.
Note: This particulary well-written, potential pulitzer prize-winning blog is exclusive to B-Rads Pad. Enjoy.
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3 comments:
Those costumes with the plactic masks & the rubberband that held it on were horrifying. Inevitably the rubberband broke before you made it anywhere & if you managed to wear it for even 5 minutes you were all steamed up! And they were highly flammable. Why did we not spontaniously combust?
My dad also did the "beat up a car with a sledgehammer" thing! They always used it to raise money for the fire department. (he's a fireman) What a weird little tradition.
I hate halloween, only because I never had a fun one as a child. I always managed to get in trouble & get grounded, not eat my dinner that night & was not allowed out, or cried because my costume was ruined because my mom forced me to wear a coat over it. (it's Ohio, sometimes it snows for Halloween...) I do enjoy now as an adult all the kids in their costumes, but my favorite is the kids a month from now. Still wearing their Batman/Cinderella costume out in public long after it's over. Cuteness.
Holy Cow!...I am amazed at the Bog's skill on this one. That thing was like reading a Lewis Grizzard short story. You may be in the wrong business my friend. That was awesome. What a flashback in time. Like a good John Grisham, I hated to see it end. I want more stories of the Jackson childhood. I will be printing that thing out for circulation at my work..."busted his chin open, but we thought it was just part of the costume"...priceless. A+ my friend.
I sat here and tried to remember my earliest all hallowed eve moment. It was 3rd and 4th grade. I went as Luke Skywalker first...and in that exact same plastic get-up with the 0 visibility rubber band mask. I remember sweating like a sauna the whole party, ripping the seat out and my mask splitting on the chin part and rubbing a welt on my face.
Next year I was old enough to realize that Darth Vader was way cooler than Skywalker. Momma Dean being rather crafty and the family a little short on cash, I got the coolest costume ever. A home-made Darth Vader suite with a cape that hade a gltter DV on the back. We did splurge for the mask. We got candy from the neighborhood and hade to have it checked by my grandma for needles and all that stuff! I remember that being a huge scare that year and you could take your loot to Mobile Infirmary and have your candy x-rayed for free.
did I say suite...damn I really should have spent more time in the blue back speller and less time watching Star Wars.
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