Huh?

Telegraph - Amy Wolfe, a US church organist who claims to have objectum sexuality, a condition that makes sufferers attracted to inanimate objects, plans to marry a magic carpet fairground ride. This follows a “courtship” of 3,000 rides over ten years with the 80ft gondola ride called 1001 Nachts. Miss Wolfe, 33, from Pennsylvania, will change her surname to Weber after the manufacturer of the ride she travels 160 miles to visit 10 times per year, according to reports “I love him as much as women love their husbands and know we’ll be together forever,” she said. Miss Wolfe first fell for the ride when she was 13: “I was instantly attracted to him sexually and mentally. Ten years later, she decided to go back to Knoebels Amusement Park to declare her love. She now sleeps with a picture of the ride on her ceiling and carries its spare nuts and bolts around to feel closer to it. She claims to believe they share a fulfilling physical and spiritual relationship and does not get jealous when other people ride it.

Who is this church organist trying to kid here? Listen honey, I don’t care if you want to marry a roller coaster. But don’t sit here and tell me you don’t get jealous when other people ride it. What do you think I am stupid?