Damn Birds

Not just a simple Rose-Breasted Cockatoo but a whole family of birds has taken up residence inside the hanging petunias on my front porch. In previous years I have had to shove jars or newspapers inside the top of the brick column of my porch to keep them from nesting. Why do birds like my front porch? Anyway, they are surprisingly neat…no bird poo on the railings or other evidence of their presence. I wouldn’t even know they were there except when you open the front door, Mama Bird goes whooshing out of the hanging pot and perches herself in the crepe myrtle tree waiting for peace and quiet again. I have let this slide for sometime now because there were eggs, then baby birds. Well, Mama Bird got evicted last night pronto!

Last night, around 9:30, I let Pimpy go outside for one last drain. We must have woken Mama Bird up, because WHOOSH went the plant. Only she went the wrong way–back toward the house instead of out in the yard.

She spent the next 30 minutes slamming against the living room/kitchen/hall ceiling/walls, then dropping down, then slamming into it again trying to find her way out. I, of course, dropped like I was in the midst of a drive by shooting and scrambled into the house on my knees. Well I propped the door open and in the midst of the chaos, all of a sudden Pimpy shoots like a rocket out the door and keeps running down the road after "Prissy", one of the many cats that frequent my yard.

Well, I was in a predicament. Get the bird out of the house or try and catch Pimpy before he gets run over by the Dale Jr. wannabees of the neighborhood. So, I went running down the street only to see Pimpy nowhere. I mean, he isn't the easiest dog to spot at high noon much less in the pitch black.

So, I yell and keep yelling until I get to the nearest traffic circle and hear him squeal like a pig. The cat had merely stopped running and hissed back at him (that's all it took). So, I picked him up and by the time I got back home the bird was gone.

But now I have the knees of a seven year old after field day at school -- Band Aids and Neosporin. Damned birds.